This week’s Top Ten Tuesday, brought to you by The Broke and the Bookish, is the exact opposite from the April 30th topic. I’ve just realized that I did the April 30th topic and holy shit I’ve been blogging for a while now. I mean, not really very long, but still. APRIL. Okay, this is making no sense. On to the CHOICES.
Top Ten Words/Topics That Will Make You NOT Pick Up a Book
P.S. Some of my choices are… weird. And aren’t words. Or topics. You guys know how I work, I feel like we’re past the point of apologizing for my seemingly unavoidable cheating.
- Botany – I really don’t like flowers. I was always the odd one out as a child because I just thought flowers were… boring. I really don’t get why little girls like flowers so much. They’re. I don’t even know what adjective to use. WHAT IS GOOD ABOUT FLOWERS. Don’t even get me started on trees…
- Anything That Seems Too Textbooky – I’m still not over my childhood nonfiction hate. I’ve been getting better but I just can’t read a book that’s about something without any plot or progress. I am interested in reading about people’s lives, cultures and historical events but they all have to be told in a way that’s not too fact-listing-like. For example, Portia DeRossi’s biography is written by her and it tells her story along with emotion and interesting happenings. However, just reading about her in dry, objective information is way too boring.
- Books With Very Dark Covers – this won’t make me NOT choose them, I am just more attracted to light colored books. It’s not that I WON’T go look at a book that falls under this topic, I’m just less likely to. I just don’t like darkness. I always hated the evil singing scenes in Disney films because they had no light and colors.
- Books With Titles That Sounds Like Weird Erotic Romance Novels – these just creep me out. And immediately make me think of Fifty Shades of Grey and bad writing. And they also usually have weird-ass covers. Some examples for this are Play of Passion, Secret Desires of a Gentlemen, The Darkest Pleasure.
- One Word Titles – again, not a definite NO. It just puts me off sometimes. Again, this isn’t a clear rule. It’s just that there are WAY too many badly written or weird-plot one word title books.
- From Very Old Times – okay almost everything I’ve mentioned and will mention aren’t 100%. I tend to prefer books that take place in the 21st century, or in the last fifty years. I don’t know why. I just… do.
- Books Whose Covers Include Women in Minimal Clothing and Weird Scenery (These Also Tend to Include Blood Somewhere in the Cover) – again, reminds me too much of erotic romance you find on the Free Ebook section of Amazon.
- Books That Look Like They’ll Include Too Much Scenery Description – wow. I’ve really hit nonsense topics now. Oh well. I just don’t like very long nature ramblings. They’re really very boring. Scenery descriptions need to put you in a setting, relate to the plot – NOT confuse you. That’s what poetry’s for.
- Royalty – Usually has to do with old Britain and with lots of descriptions of surroundings, clothing, royal ceremonies. All things I have no patience for.
- Horses – I really don’t like horses. Again, weird dislike back when I was young. They’re weird. And I don’t like long, endless wild west horse adventure books so this fits right in.
Here are examples for everything I don’t like so you know what I mean.
You guys don’t know how hard it is for me to include covers like these ANYWHERE ON MY BLOG. Gah, I hate them so much. They make me feel ewwy.
Most of these aren’t black and white – there’s room for leeway. They just mean that these are books I won’t be eager to look for, and if I’m standing in a bookstore they definitely won’t be the ones I go to first. Unless they were recommended to me – I very much love recs. If you’ve taken time to actually think about and then inform me of something you think I’d like, in 99% of cases I’ll check it out. My aversion from certain covers makes the Kindle even better because it allows me to read things without having to see them and not wanting to give them a try.
Next week’s topic sounds great! See you all then.
*insert cliche questions about YOU and YOUR choices blah blah*